When you hurt the one you love with all your heart, the one without whom you have nothing?

when you get drunk and stoned and fuck a guy because you think it doesn’t count as cheating because you’ve had a three way a while back with her friend because she wanted to?

when you tell her and the memory of her finally coming out of the bathroom, balling, and screaming “YOU FUCKING CHEATED ON ME!!” is burned into your mind for the rest of you life?

god what do you when all you know how to do is try to fix things and then you have something that can’t just be fixed?

when all you want to do is look for the answers at the bottom of a bottle and burn yourself because you just cant stand the shame?

when you feel like your drawing to much attention to yourself because you are after all the one who fucked things up so why should anyone feel sorry for you?

just…. what do you do?